A dawn

Been a while. Being busy, sleeping during the classes to classes, going work, studying, going home, insomnia. My daily routine since August 27th. Met a couple of good friends who make me laugh, yet inside always all alone. Pretty girls around campus are unspeakables, instructors are passive aggressive dictators. Supervisors are rigid as rock, no heart but work has to be done. Life isn't quite easy as it seems and the sole silver lining during the chaos of my life thinks me as a friend. She put me into her friendzone collection just like she did to other poor lads. Selfishness, cuteness are on her business card yet everybody can't stop to being attracted to her as if they are an iron that can't help itself but to forced to pulled by a magnet.

Playing computer games seems pointless to course of life. Gamers themselves are agreed to think players should be 17-19, therefore, no country for old men  like myself. Quite negative thoughts about life, well that's what I have.

Starting from the good points, I am almost completely on my own, a salmon fish swimming against the current. Being normal as others seems boring since being odd front them feels boring. Again, all alone in the dark room with no one but my sadness, negative thoughts, lost words, and tortured heart. Yeah, I said good friends before, but where are they? aren't they supposed to call you up and hang out? I can't think of anyone that would invite me to come to their house.

Do you want to know what I want? I want someone that would never leave my side. I want someone who talks to me, complain about things and talk anything about life or whatever. It's already an autumn but where's my Autumn? The summer's gone, months ago, yet you deceive me as if it's still summer. Longing to rest but couldn't rest when it comes. Agony is deep. Did I blow everything myself? Perhaps yes, but still no second chance? Why are you being harsh to me? Am I wanting something too much? Can I have her this time? Don't you pity me? When did I had someone I want? I am gonna rise and shine soon so I wanna call this moment a dawn. I maybe pathetic human being, but when I have my goal, I am not at all.