Struggle through the whole sea of life with torment, disease, apart, and tears could reward you in the end? Forget about happy ending, what's meaning of life and which one is the happiest moment? As I lived only few years comparing to any other 80s or 70s people, I could tell you that happiest moments were always in the past. Since I don't remember everything I left behind, I only recall few of them clearly as seeing someone's life through a glass.
Shabby little single studio apartment where dad, mom, my little sister and me lived was 3 blocks away from my school. Although, our family wasn't really enough to considered as middle class one, I have occasionally experienced hunger, though, I believe, mom experienced much of it. I don't remember when it happened exactly but I must have been neither very young nor old enough to cook like other people learn to cook. Dad was abroad to study and mom was working late as me and my sister had nothing to eat but core of the cabbage which is the hardest part of it so people usually throw it away. Since, my sister was crying from hunger, I cooked the hard cabbage like mom did, when I always see her while she was cooking in the kitchen where she taught me all she could and told me whom she wanted me to become. First put some oil in the brown pan and turn on the old stove which took almost half an hour to heat up, then put the sliced cabbages and put one spoon of salt with one glass of water then wait till the water evaporates. It must have been late Autumn because as I remember sun was down at 8 o'clock and I could smell chill from the windows aside from the delicious cabbage smell. When cabbage's done, I poured the it into 2 small cups which didn't really get full. Then I gave one of the cup to my sister and ate another one my own. It didn't taste bad but it didn't tasted good either, well, at least it shut her up and my headache from hunger lessened.
In the mornings, I usually got up at 7:00 am and prepare myself for the school till 7:30 and leave the house with 100 tugrug, which is a dime in US currency. I usually bought 1 apple and 1 gum each worth 5 cents. I ate the apple before the classes for the breakfast and chewed the gum all day because it make me feel less hungry with some tap water. I am not implying that my parents were irresponsible people, it's just what we could afford that time. A day wasn't that long for a boy like me who always in search for joy after long math lessons. Although, I had to look after my younger sister, I left her with girls, since I was careless, and went to play football or something that my alley friends could came up with. And in the evening, I sometimes did my homework or just watched TV with my sister while waiting for mom.
Now that I think of it, these days were very important because hunger never get forgotten from someone's mind and it also carries valuable memories. Mindless, miserable yet unknown, and happy days of my past. If I were to experience it again one day, I definitely would take the chance. What's the meaning of life? Well, one of the many meanings is to relive those priceless short movies in your mind with its blue feelings. Past always seem happy, precious and utterly tender because it would never happen again as humankind always keen to pursue the impossible and the perfection. Every struggle story should end up with happy ending? Since, my life hasn't ended yet, I can't give you the right answer. However, a farmer always harvest what he planted as a person always get what he deserves.
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